Alone

 They judged me to be judgy

As I sat there in silence drinking in the intriguing chatter 

They judged me to be judgy

As my face does not rest in smiles and laughter

They judged me to be judgy

I stutter responses as my thoughts scatter

So I keep to myself

In my place in the rafters

So I keep to myself

Surrounded by empty cans and candy wrappers

They judged me to be judgy 

Little do they know how much that matters

Dirty

 My mirror is dirty

And I can’t wipe it clean

I know my worth

But that’s not who I see

How can my body

God loves so much

Not be the one 

you yearn to touch? 

Day after day

I fight an urge

To mar the image

The painful surge

“Why are you on your phone so much?”

 It’s the easiest way to turn off

The voices in my head

Makes my mind go numb

And my thoughts go dead

A way to stop the torment

Of constant stress and strife

Forgetting responsibility 

Pressing pause on life

But to turn off the bad

You turn off the good

For love needs pain

My mind understood

 

I feel like I no longer write or do things of creation.

Worries have crushed my sight, destroyed imagination

Broken

 It hurts

Please don't make me stay

I just need pain relief

Even for one day

I cry

I'm not strong enough

For the valley ahead

There's more pain than love

Fix me

I'm much too broken

To be light in this world

I'm much too broken

 i feel good…

a scary realization for someone who has felt bad for so long.

how long will it last?

i tread lightly so not to break my own heart again.

Are you ok?

 I watched her fall

My hands stood still

Breath caught in my throat

I didn’t know

She won’t listen

Oh I’m too young

Excuses. Excuses.

Why didn’t I?

Use my small voice 

Are you ok?